Christian Media: Examples of Well Made and Poorly Made Entertainment and Original Ideas Vs. Remakes and Parodies

When I was growing up, Christian music was played and listened to very frequently in my family. As a trained musician, and a film composer who has helped in the putting together of films, music, and stories, I will share my opinions about the media I consumed as a child, from an artistic point of view, not so much from a political or moral point of view, if that makes any sense. 

Many people have strong, often political, opinions about Christian media and entertainment. I have heard some people say that it is a knockoff of its secular counterparts (especially when parodies are involved), often because the companies were trying to market to people who absolutely would not support secular businesses, singers, films, etc. I'm sure there are a variety of other opinions that I haven't even thought about because I'm sitting here in a studio concentrating just on the music. You are welcome to share those in the comments below. 

Thankfully, a lot of Christian media defies the above opinion and is truly well-made, complete with original songs or a great plot line, made by real people who truly enjoyed what they were doing and genuinely had the gift for it. I would like to share with you some movies and music that I grew up on, and my opinion of them, and whether I think they were made well or not. 

CHRISTIAN MEDIA THAT WAS MADE WELL

VeggieTales 

One of the most popular Christian children’s movie series for children born in the ‘90s and early 2000’s was VeggieTales. The creators of these movies were very talented. I liked watching the behind-the-scenes videos of Phil Vischer behind a pop filter and mic acting out Archibald Asparagus, yelling, “Stop cheating, stop lying! And ESPECIALLY stop slapping people with fishes!” I enjoyed hearing Larry voiced by Mike Nawrocki. I was freaked out when at the age of eleven, one of my best friends at the time told me that “The voice of Junior is a girl,” and I later found out that Lisa Vischer also sang the backup lines for “The Bunny Song.” And my favorite behind-the-scenes video was of Phil Vischer explaining how he and Kurt Heinecke wrote “The Bunny Song” and how they had to rewrite it twice because parents thought the lyrics had a negative influence on their children. They were creatives truly having fun! 

VeggieTales made great films, such as “Where’s God When I’m S-scared?” and “Duke and the Great Pie War,” and “Esther: The Girl Who Became Queen.” The original plot lines, animation, and crafting of the stories were top-notch and easy to understand for children. VeggieTales was a prime example of Christian children’s movies made right.

VeggieTales was very clever in their films, especially when it came to the adult-oriented stories of the Bible. For example, in the Bible story of Joseph, Potiphar’s wife wanted Joseph to have sex with her. Joseph fled the scene and said no, and Potiphar’s wife then made up a story to her husband about how Joseph raped her. Joseph was then thrown into jail. In the VeggieTales movie “The Ballad of Little Joe,” the script was written with the same concept that Little Joe stood up for what he believed in, but in a way that was still appropriate for children. Performer Miss Kitty (I loved her name, meow!) wants Little Joe to steal money from the restaurant in which he works. When he refuses, Miss Kitty makes it look like he stole the money, and he goes to jail. In “King George and the Ducky,” the story of David and Bathsheba is retold in the plot of King George stealing Thomas’s rubber duck. King George then returns the duck to Thomas, and thankfully nobody is killed. Once again, the creators were very crafty in how they told each story.

I enjoyed their unique setup in the segments of each episode. Each video would begin with a greeting from Bob and Larry, a letter from a child addressing a specific issue, the movie, and then the ending, with a memory verse by Qwerty the computer and a goodbye from Bob and Larry. Silly Songs with Larry was featured as an intermission in the middle of the main story, and I liked that. It gave children fun songs to dance and sing along with. 

I enjoyed the Silly Songs videos as well, and the songs were, once again, truly original and theatrical, something essential for the making of a good series that children will remember for years and after they are grown. Children need to be exposed to songs that are written well in terms of instrumentation, musicality, and lyricism, all of which VeggieTales did well. The same thing applies for the movie as a whole, it needs an original plot line and creative and unique elements that are well made. 

The Biblical songs and Silly Songs were arranged musically very well. The scores feature many orchestral instruments, arranged for and played in a colorful, creative way every time. There is so much polyphonic texture in “Oh No, What We Gonna Do,” a song in the Daniel story of “Where’s God When I’m S-scared.” I wrote an a cappella arrangement of this song. It is richly complex in its vocal parts. Another song that stood out to me, with both good arrangement and an obvious, catchy hook, is the song “God of Second Chances” in the Jonah movie. The Gospel singers sing in complex harmonies, and the song is full of rich, full syncopation. The bridge, which I consider the hook, is built on unlikely rests, when the veggies inside the whale sing “If you…believe…God’s love…..is true….then you….should know…..what you…..should do…,” all the while maintaining a clappable rhythm. “The Bunny Song” is a catchy, simple song, with a memorable rhythm and a nicely composed format. It also features backup singers singing a much faster reiteration of lyrics in the first verse. I believe in teaching children what great music is from the beginning, and this does it! 

I don’t know what my favorite VeggieTales movie was, honestly. 99% of their content was great.  I very much enjoyed the Silly Song “The Blues with Larry,” in which the musician tries to get Larry sad so that he truly sings the blues. He also smashes Larry’s cookie with his guitar. I also remember what “Twippo” music was, Twippo was a rock star in the Jonah movie played by Archibald Asparagus. If I could choose the movies that I liked the best, I could say that I liked the feature “Silly Sing-Along 2: The End of Silliness?” and “Esther: The Girl Who Became Queen.” My sister was creeped out by the slow crescendo of the car getting closer and closer in the beginning of “God Wants Me to Forgive Them.” I think that rhythm tactic as the start of a song was spot on. 

There are, unfortunately, a few, but thankfully only a few, parodies made by VeggieTales. One movie I did not like was “The Wonderful Wizard of Ha’s.” Literally everything in the story is repeated, and each character’s name rhymes with the original character from Oz. Even the poem “Lions and tigers and bears, oh my,” is replaced with “Ohians and fifers and pears, oh my,” with Pa Grape in a lion suit jumping out and roaring, to which the characters scream and shout, “It’s an Ohian! Run!!!” I did not like the direction this movie was going, and inwardly my early teen self was groaning, “C’mon, VeggieTales, you can do better than this!” 

Another obvious parody film was “Lord of the Beans.” Hobbits are replaced with Flobbits, and the same concept is applied. However, although the original and the VeggieTales parody are related, I feel there is more originality in this one. So I would choose this over the Wizard if I had to choose. 

I also have heard of “The Princess and the Popstar,” a movie that came out after my time, with a singer named “Vanna Banana,” obviously rhyming with “Hannah Montana.” I got a good laugh out of that one. Maybe younger kids born after Miley’s Disney days won’t realize that’s what is being made fun of, and it will maybe encourage young girls to play the guitar! 

A parody book made by VeggieTales that is obvious is Frog Wars, with exactly rhyming characters, and the veggies are drawn with the same suits and hairstyles as their original twins. Star Wars is popular with all ages of people, and to make such a resemblance is asking for laughter. 

Another parody book is The Spoon In the Stone. However, this book makes sense and is more acceptable, as the characters are food items. 

I don’t know if they made the characters vegetables for health reasons, or to combat the Cookie Monster in Sesame Street, but I hope they encouraged children to eat healthy. Frankly, I never had a problem eating my vegetables growing up. I have a salty tooth instead of a sweet tooth, and the only foods I truly hate are onions and peppers. 

ZoeGirl and BarlowGirl

ZoeGirl and BarlowGirl influenced me very much in that they furthered my musical interests in everything, from writing, to image, to recording studio work, to everything. I read the CD liners and lyrics furiously as a little girl and pre-teen, I looked at the pictures of the band, I analyzed every musical part of their songs. For years I said I never wanted to get married, and instead start a girls' rock band. 

ZoeGirl is the standard by which I judge good pop music. Autotune and fake vocal effects are never an option for them, and I think their unaltered voices are natural for pop. Their harmonies sound terrific when sung together, and they many times sing layered, separate melodic and countermelodic lines. Their music features rhythmic pop beats underneath the instruments, however, for each song, the rhythm is unique, as opposed to the same rap beat that you hear every day in today's soundtrack played on the radio. ZoeGirl uses cool, unexpected synthesizer sounds in their songs, some of which are used for sonic effect in just the right places, and the synthesizer music sounds like it was carefully and uniquely written by hand rather than "canned" beats. I like the way they mix just the right amount of raw instrumentation in with the synthesizers, using acoustic guitar, electric guitar, bass and piano, all played with skill. 

One thing I like about ZoeGirl is that they spend quite awhile building up the music and instrumentation before the vocals even come in for the first verse. I'm a pure instrumentalist, so I'm biased. I know many people, and radios, favor short attention spans. But I like listening to music where the music itself is just as important as the lyrics, and ZoeGirl does this very well. 

BarlowGirl was a very skilled rock band. Although they did not build up the music for as long before entering their vocals, they threw small riffs and instrumental lines in throughout their songs. Each member showed off her instrumental skills throughout each album, as well as their signature harmonies. I liked their hard rock skills, as at the time I had not heard of many all-girls' groups that played hard rock. I thought it cool that the lead singer had the same name as me! Alyssa Barlow played bass and sang most of the time, and sometimes played the keyboard. 

On a side note, I watched "The Cheetah Girls" at my friend's house when we had sleepovers, and I still watch it for fun on a rare occasion today. It is one of my favorite modern Disney movies. I loved their outfits, and Dorinda's style was my favorite. I enjoyed the shots of them writing and performing their original songs on stage and in the studio. My absolute favorite song from the film was "Cinderella." One detail I missed that I caught today- Raven is writing and composing in her room using a computer and MIDI controller! How cool is that! What a wonderful way to influence young girls to write!

I also loved "Pixel Perfect." I am still trying to find that one on DVD somewhere. I will always remember when Samantha played her guitar. Of course, it made me want to play. What happened to the good, positive, productive days of Disney channel when every movie was about kids starting a band?!

Other music that I listened to that was made well: 

TobyMac- Welcome to Diverse City (my friends asked my 4th grade teacher if we could listen to this CD while working on schoolwork!) this is an example of rap that I actually like, with variety and not too much repetition. 

Rich Mullins's hammered dulcimer songs- I can play some of them, they are a lifetime to master.

RED- my favorite band of all time in high school. 

Newsboys- only the old band. Michael Tait is good, but I think he is best in a different genre. "Newsboys-Jesus Freak" seems off to me. 

Skillet

Fireflight

Needtobreathe

Third Day

Decyfer Down

Storyside: B

......And much more! 

Wendy and the James Gang

The James family, from Ohio, toured around the country performing drama musicals, written entirely by the mother, Wendy. They were extraordinarily talented. Wendy was a music school graduate, having studied vocal performance and choral music education. She was a very high soprano. Wendy sewed her own costumes, and the family also led worship during their shows. They all performed on an instrument of some kind, mostly bass and guitar. And that excited me. 

Wendy now teaches voice and piano lessons in Ohio. I wonder what she would do if my sister, who is also a high soprano, walked into her studio, sang for her, and told her that she saw the family perform in church as a child?

CHRISTIAN MEDIA THAT WAS NOT MADE WELL

And now, unfortunately, I will have to talk about my opinion of certain entertainment that was made poorly. 

They are only opinions, if you like what I am about to mention, or if you like parodies, I'm not trying to hurt you. Please tell me why you like them in the comments below. Personally, I am entertained by original artwork that you could tell was created for the first time, and done well. To me, many Christian parodies are fake imitations just to market to people who wouldn't listen to the song otherwise. There are people who like parodies. If this is you, then I'm glad you enjoy them. Somebody has to. 

Kidz Blitz Live soundtrack

Several years ago, my home church hosted a game-show team called Kidz Blitz Live. It was a program where kids go up on stage and participate in competitive challenges such as eating donuts swinging from ropes, hula-hooping while blowing up a balloon blindfolded, things like that. I participated in some of those activities, and did quite well. This was a great and fun way to market to and minister to children.  

The soundtrack, however, was a different story. The producers took old '70s rock songs and set their own Kidz Blitz lyrics to them, leaving the instrumentation exactly as it was. I feel like this was an epitome of Christian parody. There were 2 albums of these songs. Honestly, it was "filler" music to me when that was the only CD in the sleeve book. I knew their marketing ploy when I would walk into the Goodwill or Kroger with my mom and hear the exact same songs with the original lyrics. I knew by that point they were trying to make an "acceptable" version of the song. So desperate, and the trick was not working. 

To this day, when I am out shopping somewhere, I hear the Kidz Blitz lyrics and the original lyrics side by side whenever I hear one of those songs, and I laugh to myself. Cheesy, cheesy. 

Personally, this is a unique children's event, so I would write entirely original music and soundtrack themes. I would have written a Kidz Blitz theme song, and a few instrumental game background tracks for when the kids are competing. And a few sound effects for the game show as well. You need to create an all-unique, highly creative soundtrack to go with this all-unique, highly creative game show. If what I suggested was taken with the music, Kidz Blitz Live would be THAT much better!!!

EXAMPLES OF PARODIES DONE RIGHT

Many of Tim Hawkins's parodies are creative and done very well. "Things You Don't Say To Your Wife" is spot-on, and hilarious. It makes sense. I don't want to be asked if I've gained weight in my rear end. It's (one of the reasons) why I'm fit. And I know of people in my past who.... said and did some things that were on this list in the song. That's why they're gone from my life. Tim Hawkins is an example of parodies done right, especially when the original song was dull and less entertaining to begin with. He knows how to mix the right amount of humor and sense to get a person to cry laughing.

Good parodies by Tim Hawkins:

Things You Don't Say To Your Wife

Banana Peeling

I Don't Drink Beer (Parody of Stephen Curtis Chapman's I Will Be Here!)- My sister and I heard a friend play the original instrumentally on the piano at a wedding, and my sister asked me, "Why is he playing I Don't Drink Beer?" and she sang the parody lyrics at the table while we laughed.

Imagine (all the parents burning down Chuck-E-Cheese!)

Parents are People

Potty Trained, or The First Song Prince Ever Wrote ( I personally think the tune of this song is too drawn out, so comedic parody is appreciated.)

The Worst Cuts Are the Cheapest (My SuperCuts Experience)- my dad has been to Great Clips time and again and they are not great. 

Troubleshooting

Bad Parodies by Tim Hawkins:

Someone Broke Wind- As a guitar player, I appreciate the original, Dust in the Wind, too much. However, if you have a crude sense of humor, you will definitely find this funny. I'm also a good-mannered, clean person who likes to smell good. 

Parodies of Popular Songs to get teens to obey: As a former teenager, I can say that at the time, this ploy would not have worked if my parents had tried this on me. Parents, if you try this trick, your teens will most likely laugh at you, and you will not get the desired results. That's just the way it is. Thankfully I'm done with those days. 

I'll Clean Up for You- I'm glad the husband wants to do the chores for his wife, however, if a man wants to marry me, I would want him to equally share the chores with me.

Atheist VBS Songs- Good concept, however, I would have changed some of the lyrics: 

Nature Loves the Little Children rather than "Nobody" Loves the Little Children

"Evolution, This I know" was done well. 

I had re-written some ending lyrics for "I Am an A-T-H-E-I-S-T" to make more sense, as they don't believe you exist after death in any other form except physically decomposing, and Hawkins says "When I D-I-E I will be A-L-O-N-E." My take would be "When I D-I-E I will be N-O-T-H-I-N-G," referring to turning to dirt. Maybe I should write an entry just on this song series and how the lyrics can be greatly improved and true to belief.

I feel like Tim Hawkins could broaden his audience by continuing to tell jokes that apply to the general public more often, not just people who go to church or grew up in the church. He can appeal to all religions of people and still have "good, clean fun."

OTHER OPINIONS I HAVE ABOUT CHRISTIAN MEDIA

BibleMan: Good as a Children's Church Series

BibleMan is a very action-packed superhero comic. I remember when BibleMan came live to my hometown at a civic center. I participated in the "BibleMan Choir" with several hundred other kids. We sang songs like "Big God O" and "So Good to Me." As I watched the show, it downpoured rain. My dad sat in the van pouring rain water out of his cap when we finally made the tread back.

The stories are very well done. Part of me feels like the way the stories are told, that they would be the most productive watched as a Sunday school series, especially with the characters with abbreviated monograms, and used as object lessons for children.

UNICE is BibleMan's computer. UNICE stands for Universal Networking Intelligence Computing Entity, and this name makes sense as a general computer character in this genre.

LUCI is the evil computer, and stands for Link to Underhanded Computer Influences. Gets right to the point, evil influences. Not as much creativity in this name, maybe the object may be to be literal so that kids will easily understand.

Other character names include "2kul 4skul", a TV call letter sequence WBIG ("What's Bad is Good"), "I.M. Wonderful," and "The Sultan of Selfishness." Again, right to the point and literal. With the way these characters were set up, they would be a great children's church series.

More than one person, my sister included, has told me that the TV show was very badly made, with the CGI and effects. However, as a kid I was entertained. There were even BibleMan action figures, and I remember when it was that popular. The reason I kept saying the show is best watched in church is because I feel the character names are a little bit cheesy, and aren't as creatively thought up. As a music creator and collaborator with dear songwriting friends, I highly enjoy when people get the courage to put their ideas out there, and I think, with the resources they had, they did a productive and positive job.

BibleMan has also improved their production skills greatly and has even made cartoons!

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Well, kitties, this is the end of my schpeel about Christian media. If I were to write about each and every form of entertainment I was given to consume growing up, I'd be here until who knows when. If you watched or listened to anything on or not on this list, mention it in the comments below, and if you liked or didn't like it! I am also open to different viewpoints about film plots, etc. All opinions are welcome.